Letterman: ‘Horrible Timing’
Monologue | Tuesday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: President Obama was in the gulf region again today, having lunch at a local seafood restaurant. Horrible timing. A clam coughed...
View ArticleLetterman: ‘Even Greater Beauty and Prosperity’
Monologue | Wednesday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: Last night, President Barack Obama spoke from the Oval Office about his plan to clean up the oil spill. Did you folks get a...
View ArticleLetterman: ‘He’s Dying His Hair’
Monologue | Thursday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: Have you seen President Obama lately? People are saying he's dying his hair. Right there, that's a good use for the oil.
View ArticleLetterman: ‘They Could Go Out of Business’
Monologue | Friday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: There are rumors now that the C.E.O. of British Petroleum is saying they could go out of business. And I thought, well, yeah,...
View ArticleLetterman: ‘Our Army of Alert T-Shirt Vendors’
Monologue | Monday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: People are kind of upset with British Petroleum C.E.O. Tony Hayward. Over the weekend, he was out on his yacht. And when...
View ArticleLetterman: ‘Turning to Asphalt’
Monologue | Tuesday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: President Obama is being criticized now. Here's the problem. The British Petroleum guy, Tony Hayward, was on his yacht...
View ArticleLetterman: ‘He Was Trashing Everybody’
Monologue | Wednesday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: You know about the big change in Afghanistan? General McChrystal did an interview in Rolling Stone and he was talking about...
View ArticleLetterman: ‘Pretty Thin Gruel’
Monologue | Monday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: Here in New York City, it is 93 degrees and hazy. You know, like Helen Thomas.
View ArticleLetterman: ‘Six or Seven Heart Attacks’
Monologue | Tuesday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: Here's something great. Russian spy ring here in New York City. They were busted in New York City. Once again, they were...
View ArticleLetterman: ‘Absence Creates a Void’
Monologue | Wednesday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: Ladies and gentlemen, news from the world of broadcasting. Larry King has announced his retirement. He says he wants to spend...
View ArticleLetterman: ‘Twilight Fever’
Monologue | Thursday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: You know what is in the theaters right now is another movie in the "Twilight" saga. Everybody has got "Twilight" fever. Sarah...
View ArticleLetterman: ‘Happy With the New Cap’
Monologue | Monday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: I thought this was nice. Earlier today, President Obama invited Mel Gibson and his girlfriend to the White House for a beer.
View ArticleLetterman: ‘The Big Spy Swap’
Monologue | Tuesday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: If you know anything about the big spy swap here in New York City, there were ten spies and they were running around New York...
View ArticleLetterman: ‘This Just In’
Monologue | Wednesday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: This just in. President Obama is looking into trading Mel Gibson to Russia.
View ArticleLetterman: ‘A Brand-New House’
Monologue | Thursday night on “The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS: You remember Bill Clinton? Bill and Hillary went out and bought a brand-new house in upstate New York. He's still keeping the...
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